“These days, before we talk about misogyny, women are increasingly being asked to modify our language so we don’t hurt men’s feelings. Don’t say, “Men oppress women” – that’s sexism, as bad as any sexism women ever have to handle, possibly worse. Instead, say, “Some men oppress women.” Whatever you do, don’t generalise. That’s something men do. Not all men – just somemen. This type of semantic squabbling is a very effective way of getting women to shut up. After all, most of us grew up learning that being a good girl was all about putting other people’s feelings ahead of our own. We aren’t supposed to say what we think if there’s a chance it might upset somebody else or, worse, make them angry. So we stifle our speech with apologies, caveats and soothing sounds. We reassure our friends and loved ones that “you’re not one of those men who hate women”. What we don’t say is: of course not all men hate women. But culture hates women, so men who grow up in a sexist culture have a tendency to do and say sexist things, often without meaning to. We aren’t judging you for who you are but that doesn’t mean we’re not asking you to change your behaviour. What you feel about women in your heart is of less immediate importance than how you treat them on a daily basis. You can be the gentlest, sweetest man in the world yet still benefit from sexism. That’s how oppression works.”
from the same article:
"The appropriate response when somebody demands a change in that unfair system is to listen, rather than turning away or yelling, as a child might, that it’s not your fault."
"Anger is an entirely appropriate response to learning that you’re implicated in a system that oppresses women – but the solution isn’t to direct that anger back at women."
It’s 13 degrees and raining rn in Melb and I hate youThis is the photo I took when we went to Coogee last year so you’ll have to get over your hate by the the time you’re back up for Christmas
I know it’s the photo from Coogee. I can’t think about the Coog and then look out the window at “Springtime” Carlton without dying on the inside. I am coming back I am!
1932, Chinese-American pilots Hazel Ying Lee and Virginia Wong (via You May Not Know About The First Chinese Americans, But You Should)
pastelnerd asked: So that swing dancing gif had a lot ladies dancing together in pairs which is something you don't see a lot of nowadays. Was it because dancing alone or as a group wasn't really a thing back then? Did guys ever dance together as friends like that?
Dancing in pairs was definitely a thing at the time— there doesn’t seem to have been a lot of solo or group dancing, at least not in the way we dance today.
Dancetime Publications has a breakdown of dancing in the 1930s. There were group dances and circle dances (like square dancing or contra), and many dances had callers to tell you the steps as you went.
I’m guessing that it was socially acceptable for women to dance with each other and less so for men to do so, but I don’t know that for certain. It probably depended at least in part on the social setting and the ratio of men to women at any given event.
Interestingly I’ve noticed in modern swing dancing (or at least in the Melbourne scene, which is where I am), it’s pretty much the same! Mostly m/f lead/follow couples, with a few f/f lead/follows. (I LOVE dancing with female leads, it is the greatest, and will often dance around solo with girlfriends at social gigs.) I think maybe it’s a combo of the gender ratio - more women than men in the scene, and some insecurity about learning to follow as a guy?
The whole gender roles/politics thing in modern swing is fascinating; I can’t help but wonder what Steve’d think, and also, would he want to go swing dancing/like jazz music?